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When did we stop believing in love?

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This year Valentine’s Day kinda crept up on me. Despite having been single every other Valentine’s Day since I came of age, there is usually some anticipation in the back of my mind this time of year. I imagine how my future guy and I might celebrate, like would we go all out and come up with creative, tear-jerking ways to affirm our affections or would we try to rise above the social pressure to make public declarations and come up with our own rhythm of displays of affection...? Just yesterday I remembered that Valentine’s Day was today yet I felt so indifferent. No dreaming, no pang of sadness at having no one to expect gifts and trinkets from.. just another day. I paused. Had singleness made me stop believing in the beauty and thrill of falling in love? Had I stopped picturing a future with someone and instead begun to try to make my life as colourful as possible in case I end up alone in my future living room portrait? It’s been an interesting few years, to say the least.
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Chosen

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Dear God, Forgive me for the times I've needed people to prove their love to me thinking that that's the only way I could know and feel real, tangible love. Forgive me when I get sad and feel alone because no one is physically by my side. He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? (Romans 8:32) Over and over you've proven your words to be true. You chose me before I ever chose you, you loved me b efore I was even trying to know you. You claim me, when I deny you. You pursue me when I run from you. The friend that sticks closer than a brother, the husband that loves his rebellious wife unconditionally. You surround me, you unravel me when I'm convinced no one truly knows or understands me. When blown about by the waves and winds of circumstance and feelings, you remain the firm rock I put my feet on. You are the thrill that never runs out, even when I'm tempted to seek pl
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Living your Best Life?

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Have you ever wondered why, after the great and exciting times in our lives, an unsettling melancholy almost always follows soon after? Why are manic highs so closely linked to manic lows? The root is threefold. Firstly, the human body does not synthesise enough feel-good substances to keep you feeling happy, motivated, positive, energised all on its own, all the time. It was not created to do so. Secondly, circumstances outside of us, as we all know, are given to change and drag our feelings along with them as they do. Lastly and most pertinently; the human heart apart from Christ's power working in it, is fickle and defective. Even as a believer, your heart is determined to rebel and live a life of its own, making its own rules. ‬ ‪Part of what that means is that it's all too easy to be misguided and consumed in the quest for (or the enjoyment of) the gifts, pleasures and comfort that the good Giver gives while being completely oblivious of the goodness of the
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The Spiritual and Emotional Glow Up

It's worth noting that many of us are resistant to growth when it makes us uncomfortable and yet we hate the thought of being left behind. Catch phrases about proceeding and progress are so commonplace nowadays and yet, in many areas of our lives we can't bear to part with the status quo.  Seeing others change and grow is intimidating because in some way, it reminds us not so much of our ineptitude but our complacency. This phenomenon is apparent in friendships; when you outg row people, you may find them constantly trying to remind you of who you used to be. Perhaps back then you weren't as impressive, or successful, or popular or secure. So these reminders are meant to keep you indebted to your past and to they, who loved you back then. The new you, the better you is so very disconcerting to them and that seeps through the cracks of your conversations.  For tangible and more superficial elements such as a career upgrade, a physical "glow-up"
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The Dying Art of Platonic Relationships

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Platonic relationships nowadays are very few and far between. It's rare to come across genuine, simple brotherly-sisterly affection among men and women that aren't actually related. It's either all (a relationship) or nothing. Many of us will only go out of our way to invest our time, resources and affection into friendships of the opposite sex if and when there is romantic interest. That seems worthwhile and that seems appropriate. Doing just as much for anything less than a potential future partner seems to be generally regarded as foolish or a waste of time because you'd be categorised as being in "the friend zone" which is a dead-end that must be resisted at all costs or desperately escaped.  Everyone professes to have a mortal fear of heartbreak but many of us will casually dive in heart-first into 'flirtationships' and intimacy and then be horrified when we discover that the person is, in some way or another, not in fact who we though
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When to hold 'em and when to fold 'em

I've always been an invested kind of person. I don't know how to go halfway because why leave things unsaid? Be intentional about everything. I have to admit though, that in the cold world we live in today, it feels like a weakness most days. I've always believed that kindness is seeking to understand, empathise and encourage. Asking questions, caring in a way that comes naturally yet goes the extra mile, expressing compassion. It's giving someone else joy and ultimately- desiring what's best for them. So what that looks like in my interactions with people is digging deep but I often don't stop there. I dig deep too, share, analyse and offer insights.. To my own detriment sometimes. I do this because I want rich relationships and it's been a blessing to share in the lives of a number of amazing people so far. But why is caring so painful sometimes? It seems that the closer you get, the messier things may potentially become. This is the occup
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