Can you be tamed?
“For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.
So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in Godʼs law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?”
📖Romans 7:19, 21-24 NIV
Most days, the fight for self-control feels like it was sabotaged right from the start. Fatalists might agree. You resolve to eat healthy, only to eat all the chicken wings you can find. You resolve to save money and be more generous but you work so hard, so you spoil yourself again and again and maybe just once more. You resolve to be quick to forgive, only to make it known very swiftly when you have been offended. You resolve to stop sleeping with that boy/girl but when night time comes and you're all alone, you just 'want to be close.' You resolve to stop watching pornography but it's not like you're really hurting anyone else, it's your little secret and you can always quit when you're married. One last drink, only it's never the last one. You've had erratic moods since you were a child, you can't help how you feel so anyone who loves you should accept you as you are.. Or leave you alone. The lack of self-control is the beast inside that is fed whenever we justify our desire to give into our feelings and impulses whichever way they come.
It seems that the more we fight certain passions/habits/addictions, the stronger their hold on us grows. Even while being all too familiar with the perils of self-indulgence, we indulge some more. Our tongues are reckless, our appetites insatiable, our temperaments volatile. We give in to almost anything we feel entitled to. As time goes on, these 'flawed tendencies' become ingrained in our character. And when we start to feel any guilt, we pacify it by calling ourselves "a work in progress." If we take an honest look at ourselves, who is working on us? How much progress is really being made? Can we ever be completely free from these weaknesses? Will we one day become better?
It's easy to point out the external things that can control us. Alcohol, smoking, co-dependent relationships and anger are easily identifiable. We know they have pathological implications yet for many of us, we do not want to have to think about withdrawing, quitting or getting help. They are the means by which we have learned to cope. Our substitutes for God. We pay the cost, have learned to live with it yet still, deep down, we wish it didn't have to be that way.
Other desires are healthy and God-given but they can mutate into debilitating compulsions. Why? Because Satan is a skilled and subtle deceiver who knows how to corrupt God's good gifts which we were meant to enjoy. He desires to destroys us and knows where we are most vulnerable, so he offers us what we want mixed with a sprinkling of false promises on an uninhibited platter. A few examples: a healthy enjoyment of food turns into comfort eating and constant fantasising about the next meal. A persuasive and winsome speaker starts to love the sound of their own voice and as a result has conversations that are more argumentative than helpful. When moderation is disregarded, TV and social media which inform, entertain and connect become a way for us to idly disengage from what needs our present attention and affirm our self-worth. The God-given attraction and appreciation of the opposite sex demands to be physically satisfied so we go from dipping a toe to diving right in regularly enough until abstinence becomes a vulgar word. For a while, God lets us carry on without consequences, because he is merciful. But self-indulgence is not freedom, it is the exact opposite.
We get a poisonous pleasure from our vices so we keep going back until, over time, God's ways seem like a bunch of rules designed to kill our joy. We roll our eyes and get defensive when anyone tries to tell us how to live our lives. Yet we have those quiet moments (for me it's before bed and early in the morning) when conviction strikes our conscience and we know we need to do better. For others, though, our consciences have become numb, there is no longer any guilt.. We have just embraced the darkness as who we are and traded self-control for self-destruction. "Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control." 📖Proverbs 25:28NIV
Our thought life is an area we are less inclined to work hard to restrain because that's the part of us others cannot see and therefore cannot judge us on. Yet this is where self-control is needed most. Instead of thinking about what is true, honourable, just, pure, commendable, excellent and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8) we entertain spite, jealousy, discontentment, anger, lust, selfish ambition.. Until we "snap out of it." The reason why our attempts to clean up our act on the outside often fail is because inwardly, our hearts and minds are corrupt and therefore prone to wander. They need constant renewal through the word of God. We need to start with what we believe about where superior pleasure, peace and power are found. Knowing your enemy and your weaknesses is not enough. What's at stake is not just you becoming better for yourself and those you know, it's ultimately the battle for your soul in eternity. The road to life is narrow, in other words, it should change and challenge what comes naturally to you. It will be painful. Self-control is a mark of maturity and Christ-likeness. (Titus 2:11-12, 2 Timothy 1:7, 1 Corinthians 9:25-27)
Your resolve alone will be overwhelmed. You already know this because you have tried and failed. It takes more than sheer willpower so we need to look outside ourselves, to a perfect source. Self-control is a gift from the Holy Spirit. (Galatians 5:23) A gift that we receive actively. A gift that we use to war against ourselves. So we can only rely on him to inform our strategies in this war. The more desperate we are for him, the greater his power is in us to stand firm against the devil's lies.
John Piper says, "Therefore, the fight for self-control is a fight of faith. When we really see and believe what God is for us by grace through Jesus Christ, the power for wrong desires is broken." This is a life-long fight in which we will tire and sometimes receive blows, but as we persevere in Christ, victory is certain.
In Jesus we find the forgiveness we so desperately need in our mess. Through him we find the grace and power to resist the temptations that so easily entangle us. As we seek him and find pleasure and peace in the promises of his word, our appetites for those things we used to crave so much gradually disappears. Until He intervenes, you will be enslaved to your sinful nature, with as much semblance of control as water stored in the palm of your hands. So ask for this gift, and then ask again. Then keep fighting for self-control.
📖“Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!”
Romans 7:25a NIV
So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in Godʼs law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?”
📖Romans 7:19, 21-24 NIV
Most days, the fight for self-control feels like it was sabotaged right from the start. Fatalists might agree. You resolve to eat healthy, only to eat all the chicken wings you can find. You resolve to save money and be more generous but you work so hard, so you spoil yourself again and again and maybe just once more. You resolve to be quick to forgive, only to make it known very swiftly when you have been offended. You resolve to stop sleeping with that boy/girl but when night time comes and you're all alone, you just 'want to be close.' You resolve to stop watching pornography but it's not like you're really hurting anyone else, it's your little secret and you can always quit when you're married. One last drink, only it's never the last one. You've had erratic moods since you were a child, you can't help how you feel so anyone who loves you should accept you as you are.. Or leave you alone. The lack of self-control is the beast inside that is fed whenever we justify our desire to give into our feelings and impulses whichever way they come.
It seems that the more we fight certain passions/habits/addictions, the stronger their hold on us grows. Even while being all too familiar with the perils of self-indulgence, we indulge some more. Our tongues are reckless, our appetites insatiable, our temperaments volatile. We give in to almost anything we feel entitled to. As time goes on, these 'flawed tendencies' become ingrained in our character. And when we start to feel any guilt, we pacify it by calling ourselves "a work in progress." If we take an honest look at ourselves, who is working on us? How much progress is really being made? Can we ever be completely free from these weaknesses? Will we one day become better?
It's easy to point out the external things that can control us. Alcohol, smoking, co-dependent relationships and anger are easily identifiable. We know they have pathological implications yet for many of us, we do not want to have to think about withdrawing, quitting or getting help. They are the means by which we have learned to cope. Our substitutes for God. We pay the cost, have learned to live with it yet still, deep down, we wish it didn't have to be that way.
Other desires are healthy and God-given but they can mutate into debilitating compulsions. Why? Because Satan is a skilled and subtle deceiver who knows how to corrupt God's good gifts which we were meant to enjoy. He desires to destroys us and knows where we are most vulnerable, so he offers us what we want mixed with a sprinkling of false promises on an uninhibited platter. A few examples: a healthy enjoyment of food turns into comfort eating and constant fantasising about the next meal. A persuasive and winsome speaker starts to love the sound of their own voice and as a result has conversations that are more argumentative than helpful. When moderation is disregarded, TV and social media which inform, entertain and connect become a way for us to idly disengage from what needs our present attention and affirm our self-worth. The God-given attraction and appreciation of the opposite sex demands to be physically satisfied so we go from dipping a toe to diving right in regularly enough until abstinence becomes a vulgar word. For a while, God lets us carry on without consequences, because he is merciful. But self-indulgence is not freedom, it is the exact opposite.
We get a poisonous pleasure from our vices so we keep going back until, over time, God's ways seem like a bunch of rules designed to kill our joy. We roll our eyes and get defensive when anyone tries to tell us how to live our lives. Yet we have those quiet moments (for me it's before bed and early in the morning) when conviction strikes our conscience and we know we need to do better. For others, though, our consciences have become numb, there is no longer any guilt.. We have just embraced the darkness as who we are and traded self-control for self-destruction. "Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control." 📖Proverbs 25:28NIV
Our thought life is an area we are less inclined to work hard to restrain because that's the part of us others cannot see and therefore cannot judge us on. Yet this is where self-control is needed most. Instead of thinking about what is true, honourable, just, pure, commendable, excellent and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8) we entertain spite, jealousy, discontentment, anger, lust, selfish ambition.. Until we "snap out of it." The reason why our attempts to clean up our act on the outside often fail is because inwardly, our hearts and minds are corrupt and therefore prone to wander. They need constant renewal through the word of God. We need to start with what we believe about where superior pleasure, peace and power are found. Knowing your enemy and your weaknesses is not enough. What's at stake is not just you becoming better for yourself and those you know, it's ultimately the battle for your soul in eternity. The road to life is narrow, in other words, it should change and challenge what comes naturally to you. It will be painful. Self-control is a mark of maturity and Christ-likeness. (Titus 2:11-12, 2 Timothy 1:7, 1 Corinthians 9:25-27)
Your resolve alone will be overwhelmed. You already know this because you have tried and failed. It takes more than sheer willpower so we need to look outside ourselves, to a perfect source. Self-control is a gift from the Holy Spirit. (Galatians 5:23) A gift that we receive actively. A gift that we use to war against ourselves. So we can only rely on him to inform our strategies in this war. The more desperate we are for him, the greater his power is in us to stand firm against the devil's lies.
John Piper says, "Therefore, the fight for self-control is a fight of faith. When we really see and believe what God is for us by grace through Jesus Christ, the power for wrong desires is broken." This is a life-long fight in which we will tire and sometimes receive blows, but as we persevere in Christ, victory is certain.
In Jesus we find the forgiveness we so desperately need in our mess. Through him we find the grace and power to resist the temptations that so easily entangle us. As we seek him and find pleasure and peace in the promises of his word, our appetites for those things we used to crave so much gradually disappears. Until He intervenes, you will be enslaved to your sinful nature, with as much semblance of control as water stored in the palm of your hands. So ask for this gift, and then ask again. Then keep fighting for self-control.
📖“Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!”
Romans 7:25a NIV
What a great piece
ReplyDeleteThank you, and for reading! :)
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